After enduring yet another sleepless night this thought occurred to me: what does it really mean to love someone? Can you embrace all the things you love about them, you know those easy, loveable qualities that make you smile thinking about them all day and night as well as those stubborn, temperamental ways (like myself) that make you think about slowly wrapping your fingers around their throats? Is it truly possible to do both?
I’m not going to get all deep and philosophical on you with this one (not this time) I am far too traumatised by the dark circles under my eyes. This is just me barely scratching the surface but like a scratch and sniff, I want you to get a whiff, share your thoughts, and pass it around for a big open forum of opinions. So here it is.
The ever popular Bible verses I Corinthians 13: 4-8 says:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Sigh. Where do I begin with this perfect idea of what should be? Which is not wrong, it SHOULD be but we do live in a real world and I have always been of the belief that the bible provides you with a series of rules and stories some of which are open to interpretation and should not be taken quite so literally. One of my issues with Christianity but let’s NOT go there. All I have to say on those verses is this: we would like love to be all these things, but it is not. Love, when done right, makes us better people. It makes us strive to achieve the necessary patience, trust, truth and forgiveness as aforementioned but more often than not love temporarily turns you into crackhead. You can’t stop thinking about them, you want to spend every minute with them but you’ll probably end up killing each other if that were to happen, you try not to be rude but there goes this bitch again flirting with him IN YOUR FACE and you can’t help yourself, you try to always trust but there is that thing that sometimes prevents it, what is it called, oh right BEING HUMAN! I could go on and on and on but I like to think I’m dealing with intelligent people who understand by now and can complete the list themselves.
I have realised when it comes to love the quickest thing for us to do is to take the easy way out. I pose this (as many of may have experienced, done or seen): I love you. Your laugh, your personality, your fire, your big heart, your intellectual mind, your sexy body, your sex...but... I think I’ll just go for someone who may not have all those things but is less stubborn, less opinionated, less of a pain in my ass, less likely to have a temper, and less likely to amuse and love me the way you do. But hey, at least I’ll be sane (Sometimes I think sanity is so overrated, sane people act like robots).
What is it about love that always seems to produce the “but...” factor through every explanation of why that love can’t happen? I think we are all entirely too selfish, myself included. We are so wrapped up in our own lives and wants and needs that we can’t see and appreciate a good thing when it comes our way. We all want the good, ‘please Lord send the good man or the good woman and I’ll find something far too inadequate about this seemingly perfect match and begin my search all over again for EASY’. Yes she makes me laugh and is full of passion and interesting thoughts but damn I just want a woman who’ll cook some food, have sex with me and shut the hell up, where’s she at?
It’s kind of like those advertisements for Staples where they have the easy button. We all just reach for the easy button before we stop and think, maybe there’s another way to do this that, granted, may not be as fun as pressing that big juicy red button, but will also be effective and maybe even more thorough because the easy button will miss some things I need that aren’t on the list in my mind. What’s wrong with just going to the store and getting stationery the old fashioned way, testing the pens on that scrap of paper and eventually winding up getting a Dora the Explorer notebook for your baby cousin? I like the stationery store. But I digress.
Why are we obsessed with easy? We’ve seen it over and over in life and in movies, the girl and the guy, he’s great and she’s great but he’s broke and has little hope for the future so she marries the stiff ass accountant who doesn’t laugh, or play, or cook WITH her and (let’s be real) can’t, and doesn’t care to, make her cum. Skeet, skeet and roll over. It’s almost like we’re programmed to settle for fear of being alone. Because of course, that’s the worst thing in the world that can ever happen! It’s like 2012 the love edition, everyone head to China there are more than enough people to love there! Come on people. Wake up. There are too many people in this world for you to ever truly be alone. And it’s a modern time, if you feel the need to embrace promiscuity to satisfy the urge who’s to judge? Psh! Ok that was a joke people, calm down (but really though...)
All jokes aside (I could never stick to that), we all need to realise that we’re never going to get that perfect person. We’re never going to get someone we love EVERYTHING about. Not even in our closest friendships. My temper has my friends on EDGE thinking today just might be the day Alicia goes to jail. I’m sure it’s very uncomfortable for them to watch someone give me attitude of bad customer service. They probably shake their heads in the background looking around for police like, this is it. So much for ‘all jokes aside’ (told ya). There is NO ONE in the world who has everything you want. There is however, someone who has everything you need, and then some. You need to embrace what you love AND what you dislike about them because all those components put together make them who they are. And you fell in love with them in the first place because of who they are. Guess what? You’re not perfect either.
So deal with it and stop being a whiny bitch.
Your 9am wake up call,