Why All Women Need At Least One Man

Man friend that is. I'm not of the school of thought that men and women can't be friends because somewhere, somehow along the lines feelings are involved. I call bullshit on that. Perhaps that's because I don't go around crushing on my niggas but really, I value the thoughts if my male friends much more than my female ones. How could you say such a thing Ally? I mean, really women are more well-rounded with their thought process, don't you appreciate that? Like hell.


Don't get me wrong, I'm as fragile and sometimes petty as the woman one seat over but I don't often care for the addition of female fluff to pad my issues. Your male friends will never pad. And I never pad for them. Or for my female friends actually... which explains why I have so few. It all boils down to this simple fact: bitches be lyin'. You're always wrong but not really wrong. And it's always, "who does he think he is?" and "i can't believe he did that!" I have the same convo with my male friends and they're all like, "you know you should've seen that shit comin, come on now." And then I actually have to stop and THINK. Psh. Men. Burstin women's bubbles since 500 B.C.


Anyhoo, tonight I was having a convo with a friend in which sex was briefly "discussed". I use the quotations there because men don't really discuss sex. For women any talk about sex could turn into a book, for men it can be narrowed to a simple sentence. Specifically when addressing casual sex. When is casual sex ever casual for a woman? Didn't Justin and Mila just address this?! So I said to him "sex is complicated" to which he responds, "it definitely is not" and goes on to break it down in man sense.


For men it's basically as simple as a handshake, we're doing nothing but having sex - simple. That's a binding contract right there. For us it STARTS that simple and can turn into something else if we're attracted to the person outside of just the physical (insert fine print complication here). 


We think, "maybe, just maybe this could be more and this will just be the funny tale of how we became mr. and mrs." (catastrophe pending!) Men think (in the words of my friend), "just don't fuck them like you love them. pull their hair and shit."


A female friend would interpret that as "ooh maybe he's just freaky" but this is why I love and appreciate ma mens. Because I know that if ever I were to enter into a casual sex arrangement and he pulls my hair I better just enjoy the ride and neatly pack my oestrogen riddled brain in my overnight bag. Simple life 101.


Your knowledge-seeking man hugger,


Allycat

Image from: cartoonstock.com