Shit Mark Says: Take One

This is just a little look into the reasons why my friends are extraordinary (read: marginally sane and AMAZING) human beings without whom my life would be a meaningless and humour-free existence. My partner in shenanigan crime Mark and I, aka Probs and Mayhem, were out last night at it again. Nothing but ruckus trolling around the city mixing more drinks than we should have. Good times. Along the way I decided I should share with the world some of the ridiculous shit this clown says to me regularly. Keep in mind, everything he says below happened within 24hrs.

On film and literature:

"You should get this book 'The Love Dictionary.' I highly recommend it. Oh and also watch 'The Troll Hunter'! I would give up good head any day for those two things."

On kah-rah-taaaay and fight tactics:

"We should wear masks like ninjas. Definitely."

"You should just be like, kick..." *demonstrates and accidentally kicks a guy who's walking past just then* Kicked him. Swear.

On music:

Me: "I wanna learn to play the guitar. I'll be much less impressed with these niggas when I do. Like, 'Oh you play the guitar? Me too so gftoh.'"

Mark: "That's a good idea. Clouding your mind with some wood and a few strings. Smh."

On my taste in men:

"Really? That nigga is one chromosome away from being a woman."

Me: -_-

On becoming ex-pats:

"We can't be in New York together. Ever. We'll get arrested. We'll get deported."

And there you have it.

Your keeper of the worst good company,


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