Maslow's Horny Hierarchy

In studying psychology this semester I have come to really and truly appreciate the importance of sex in society. I mean here I was thinking that it wasn't really that big of a deal and everyone was blowing it out of proportion...but no...it's a big deal. That much of a big deal that psychologist Abraham Maslow listed it as number 3 in his hierarchy of needs. Well he didn't exactly label it 'sex' but it was listed as a social need under love, affection and "intimacy"...we ALL know that in the world of stiff intellects "intimacy" is code for bumping and grinding. 


The fact that sex is listed as a necessity alongside basic needs like air, water and shelter is frigging amazing. I mean, I never really thought of the need to achieve an orgasm as being equally important as making use of your nostrils and taking a breath every so often to prevent your lungs from feeling useless and giving up on you. Wow. Sex is definitely coming up in the world.  


The main thing that gets me about sex is that EVERYONE is doing it ALL THE TIME. I mean it's like crack cocaine for the sexual organs, what the hell is going on? It's one thing to like it and want to do it whenever you get the urge but come on people not every minute of every day and EVERY single time you get the urge. Demonstrate a little self control and resist it every now and again and say woosah to your vagina or your penis. Talk to it a little bit and say "you need to calm down okay because this is getting a bit ridiculous, will I have to get you taken care of?" If threats work for human beings then they should work for our various woman and man parts as well.  


I must say however that a little "plays" every so often does help to secure your sanity and also ensures a degree of amicability. Most bitchy people are suffering from a severe lack of sexual activity, I'm almost sure of it. The reason they're constantly aggitated is because it annoys the hell out of them that human beings are designed in such a way that certain touches produce certain sensations, they can't deal with the fact that if the breeze blows too hard on their blouse it tickles their nipples and makes them horny and they can't do anything about it. Life is tough all around I guess...even for nipples. 


A little sumn sumn is always good to keep "the mojo" intact so that when you actually need it to have sex it won't be in some inoperable cobwebbed state. A little fun here and there with hot sexy people who make you horny is TOTALLY ok...mind you, I am not promoting promiscuity I'm just saying that if you're lucky enough to have a hot bf or gf then take FULL advantage. And if, like me, you're a single gal or guy then there are several DIY activities that might not necessarily ensure that you're as 'in control' of your sanity as the people who actually get to have hot mindblowing sex whenever they feel like it BUT it will definitely keep you out of an asylum. A little finger fun never hurt anyone...unless you have claw-like nails and crooked fingers in which case you're the poster child for ABSOLUTE abstinence. Too bad for you. 


It's very strange how the 'horny hormone' is activated though. I could never understand how you could be doing a simple everyday task like taking a nice hot bath (strictly for the sake of cleanliness, of course) at the end of the day only to realise that your loofah just rubbed you in a particular spot that created a srtangely sexual response and all of a sudden the 'horny hormone' just ups and slaps you in the face when only a mere second ago you were wondering about that curios fungus forming on your toe nail. Tres bizarre! How does that even happen? God and his marvellous creations..

Stop abusing your man and woman parts people. Just allow the 'horny hormone' to take its course every now and again and other times treat it like a crying baby and just tolerate it until it stops. Like I like to tell my friends: sex is like gormet food, if you eat it all the time then it's as common as KFC and you wouldn't really feel like you're having something special anymore. Just take one bite at a time and appreciate the quality of the cuisine on your palette... 


Your "plays" promoter, 


Allycat