The Reality of Relationships

"To cheat yourself out of love is the most terrible deception, an eternal loss for which there is no reparation" - Soren Kierkegard

In truth I have absolutely no idea who George Santayana is, however from what he said here I'd say the guy has a pretty good head on his shoulders. Here I am drinking some coffee and well, was supposed to be writing an investigative article due tomorrow but matters of the heart are the most important! Fact is, I am almost 100% sure that I'm going to fail that class so that explains my somewhat flagrant disregard. Back to the point, I believe love is one of the most important things in this entire world, and to find love, even if it's just once and even if it failed, to experience that REAL love is as close to flying through clouds as any of us mere humans could ever experience (unless you're rich enough to have your own G5 jet in which case you are right up there with love, adrenaline rush and the miracle of childbirth, good for you!). Fear of hurt, rejection and heartbreak should never act as deterrents when dealing with love. Throw it all in the wind and just say "fuck it." Trust in the I, love is profound.

And, on the flip side, it's also many other things. Like confusing. Yes, that's right, CONFUSING! There is no book, no absurdly superficial article in a woman's magazine advice column that explains love and clarifies everything for us. And the reason for that is that there is no explanation for love, nothing can justify it, all the adjectives can't precisely describe it, no movie can truly emulate it, and no one person can make it easy. Most of our time in the initial stages of a relationship is spent getting to know your "significant other", favourite colour, favourite movies, general dislikes, just the basics. 


Stage two presents more revealing information like their number of sexual partners, why their previous relationships didn't work, any issues with the family, etcetera etcetera. Now, beyond this point is where it gets complicated because somewhere along the way you have sex, you get all emotionally entangled in the other person, you start fighting, and now is when you feel the ever predominant emotion that is confusion.

They want this, but then again they don't want this and they just said that because they didn't want to express what they REALLY felt. They're breaking up with you then telling you how much they love you and making up with you. They start showing different sides of themselves that make you think twice about if this is the same person you got together with __ months ago. They suddenly have issues with things they never had issues with before and are thereby just stressing your ass out! They just fucking confuse you! I mean, this part makes you feel like saying, "this is some bullshit right here!" But of course you don't say that because now you're in so deep that there's no way you're going to give up just like that right? But how do you know when to stop trying? How do you really know when enough is enough or if you should just stick it out because hey, no one said it was easy.

I'll tell you how my friends. My sole purpose on this earth is to tell you this! NO ONE KNOWS! Everyone likes to act like they know and sound like they know, especially old people, don't talk to old people about this shit, because it's a general consensus that age equals wisdom but that doesn't stand true for every old fart on the planet. Not to mention the fact that love has evolved, yes the old crusties know the basics and that's enough most times but sometimes you need to dig a lot deeper than basic. Love will make you do things that you would've bet your bank account that you would never do. It's very much like being possessed, you have no idea what you're doing, the love demon has taken over all your controls. You're helpless.

This is not to say that everyone will find their one true love and there's someone for everyone and all that. That's just shit people say to keep you optimistic and hopefully decrease the suicide rate. The truth is, not everyone will experience this type of euphoria in their lifetime. But, on the bright side, that means that they can have sex with whatever random hot person (or close personal sex buddy) they choose! They don't have to commit to anything but life and their pet cat (which may also be interchanged for pussy or penis within the context of this sentence). Life is also very fun and fulfiling for them, trust me. I could grow old and alone and have a fun fucking time doing it, and everyone should keep that in mind. Don't make yourself miserable for something that wasn't even intended for everyone. That's like being bitter about not being born with blue eyes, everyone can't fucking have blue eyes. Deal with it.

Recently, my opinion on love has changed a lot. I never used to think about love. If it happens it happens, if I lose it it's fine, if I never get it I'm good. I still think like that for the most part. The difference is that now I've experienced the real deal and I have a lot more respect for people's emotions and for love itself. I also have a new admiration for the old couples that "made it" and are still in love. They make me kind of optimistic. Kind of. At the end of the day I realise that you have to make your own love, whether it's self-love (and yes by that I do mean masturbation) or love of another. The reality of relationships is that you get to choose your own reality by the decisions you make. Make good ones!

Your dose of contradictory optimistic realism,

Allycat