Rise of The Stupid People: WTF

I tried to think of a million different ways to start this, but I figure I should do it my way and just be frank. Where the hell did all these stupid rambling idiots parading the streets come from? Was there some secret society for imbeciles that I was unaware of and now they're rebelling and pouring out of their ant hill into the rest of the world? I hear people every day walking around SAYING things like "wtf" and "o-m-mega-g" and "lol" and my favourite of all "sigh"......yes, they SAY "sigh" because taking a deep breath and letting it out is exerting way to much energy that they can't afford to expend...now that requires a major "WTF?!" 

I don't know if people are really aware but the purpose of these acronyms is just to abridge the typing or writing process, particularly for text messaging when you want to save a few cents and not have the 1 message that you would like to send turn into 2 messages; and also for online conversations when you don't want to take too long to say what you have to say. But the point is that once you can actually SPEAK and have a face to face conversation then you're supposed to SAY the words and not just the acronyms. I would think that would be understood but oh no, it's not. It doesn't even sound right to the ear, that should be as clear an indicator as any that it shouldn't be said. Conversations among these mortal morons sound absolutely absurd.  

For example, I was in UWI last Thursday (not bashing UWI individuals by any means) and overheard these 3 girls talking. It went something like this (for REAL): 

Stupid girl #1: "Girl you believe that Jason with Alexandra now? Yes girl I heard that in the p.m. yesterday (because of course it's WAY too much effort to say," yesterday evening") and I was like wtf. My jaw almost dropped to the floor and Zina was like rotfl but irdk (I really don't know) what he was thinking she's so ug (the "ly" is too much to add on apparently)." 

Stupid girl #2: "Nfw! (which I gather means no fucking way,I'm guessing..ENGLISH is more my lingo) And he's so hot! Omg I'm so pissed. I really wanted to F him, but maybe I can still do it anyway. Lol (yes,she SAID "Lol" without even really laughing I might add), that would be bad right?"  

Stupid girl #3: "Duh Jen, you'll be such a badess like Samantha, omg btw I heard she had sex in the bathroom with Brandon in the a.m. (it became a trend) before Math class. I was like o-m-mega-g Sam don't be such a ho." 

End of...um...conversation? 

Now...tell me...is it wrong for my faith in mankind to be dwindling day by day with this severe corruption of the english language taking place? Am I to think that when I conceive a child in 10 years that my mini-being will not be able to speak english but will instead be saying things like "mom wtf komdnt!"...Notice the only thing you were able to understand was "mom what the fuck", the rest meant "knock on my door next time"...I predict that by then EVERYTHING will be turned into an acronym or abbreviation of some sort to the point where it may as well be another language altogether. Maybe that's the point, maybe they're trying to entirely obliterate the english language... 

I can't wrap my head around this apparent phenomenon. I think it could quite possibly be the highest form of idiocy to take place within our generation if it is allowed to continue. I think from this point on if I hear anyone speaking like that my resolve might just wither away and I'll walk up to them and smack them across the face and say, "Oh behave!" Everyone could use a good brain shaker-upper every now and again and I'll just be more than happy to provide my services. I think I'm just paying my debt to society by reviving the brains of my fellow citizens.."It's for the good of the world," is what I'll tell myself while I'm growing some cajones and gathering the gusto to smack them all. 

I feel like the way they profane the validity of the english language hits me way below the belt because english is my absolute favourite thing in the world and to hear the employees of Retards Inc. treat it like something insignificant instead of something that we've all been learning since birth (or before, depends on what you believe) irks me. No, irk seems sweet compared to how I feel. 

And if by chance (or by some divine intervention) you are one of these aforementioned individuals then consider yourself SMACKED. And I will in no way, shape or form retract my statements regarding your stupidity, just stop while you're ahead of the game and become aware of the annoyance you represent. STOP. Stop saying "sigh" and just sigh already! Stop saying "lol" and just laugh like a regular person and not like what some extreterrestrial (whose knowledge of human communication is based strictly on lingo collected from msn and aol) would sound like. 

You're human. Be human. Speak english. Get smart. Stop the bullshit. Use your brain to better the world, not dumb it down. Don't make me smack you upside your head and rearrange your brain cells. And I would just like to say, thank you in advance for stopping this retarded revolution. Stay true to grammar. Blessings and salutations :-) 

P.S.: Who vex loss. Punto final. 

Your thesaurus-hugging grammar lover, 


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